Feeling Good and Misérables

Books

• Les Misérables by Victor Hugo – The unread and not-recently-read classics on my bookshelves are beginning to mock me. Also, my own personal dramas of the past week are making me want to read about people who have it worse. So, Jean Valjean, Fantine, Eponine—bring it on. Full disclosure for the literary set: I'm reading an abridged version. While the unabridged tome is more than 1,400 pages long (1,900 pages in French, according to Wikipedia), my version, abridged by Laurence M. Porter, is roughly 800 pages. I hope I don't miss anything important.

• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling – I had thought the daughter was cranky and unwilling to read because of pre-teen moodiness and allergies, but it turns out it was because of pre-teen moodiness, allergies, and an ear infection. Now that the ear infection is being treated, we're back to reading. We've just finished the chapter about the Quidditch World Cup and are about to learn about the Dark Mark.

TV

In honor of the long weekend for Patriot's Day and the Boston Marathon, I enjoyed some marathon TV viewing. Yes, I also made it outside. Don't judge.

• The Good Wife – I watched four episodes. All were excellent. At the end of "The Blue Ribbon Panel," when Alicia approaches Jackie, her conniving mother-in-law, at a hair salon, and Jackie gives a look of evil smugness just before the screen goes black, I got chills. Also, I think I was wrong when I said that too much negative drama is not to my liking. With the right approach, the constant pressures on Alicia create the opportunity to show her strength, and that makes for superb moments. I was even disappointed that the Caitlin storyline, which I had disliked, suddenly went away with a fizzle. Sure, I was frustrated that Caitlin was being set up as Alicia's rival at her law firm and, possibly, with her one-time love interest, Will. But when it turns out that Caitlin is happily leaving the firm to get married and have a baby, it seemed like her entire tension-filled storyline was wasted.

• VH1 Couples Therapy – I was all set to make fun of Vienna and Angelina, who sorely deserve it, but then Kasey had a breakthrough about childhood abuse that he suffered at the hands of his mom's boyfriend, and then DMX talked about his abusive mother, so everything got serious. I hate it when reality creeps into my reality shows.

• Mob Wives – Renee's ex-husband, Junior, goes to jail to serve a sentence that has been known to be coming all season. What hasn't been known, however, is that during the time Junior was supposedly trying to reconcile with Renee, he was actually making a deal with the Feds against Renee's mobster daddy. When it's discovered that Junior has cooperated and thus "ratted out" Renee's father, Renee is distraught for both herself and her teenage son. In this community, being a rat is worse than being a murderer. And being the family of a rat isn't much easier. Thankfully for Renee, her friends rally around her. And only a few of them mention behind her back that if it had been one of them, Renee would have been the first to treat them terribly. They are so good to her, I tell you. Martyrs!

• Blue-Eyed Butcher – Hello, my name is Anna, and I'm a recovering Lifetime made-for-TV movie addict. It's true. I went through a dark period in my life where I became hooked on woman-in-danger and woman-as-killer movie fare. This week, I had a relapse and watched a movie based on the true story (of course) of Susan Wright, a young mother in Houston who stabbed her husband nearly 200 times to stop his alleged abuse. And I'll admit it. I watched the whole thing. I'm so ashamed. So deeply, deeply ashamed. I need to cleanse my palate. When is Jersey Shore coming back?!

Stalled Adolescents of Television

Books

• Dave Barry in Cyberspace by Dave Barry – This book is 12 years old, which is approximately 12 million in computer years. But as a Dave Barry fan, I still find it amusing. Granted, I'm only on Chapter 1—A Brief History of Computing from Cave Walls to Windows 95—so it may feel more out of date as I go along. Still, it's amazing how much hasn't changed. Have "LOL" and "ROTFL" really been around since the 90s? I feel old.

• Super Diaper Baby 2: The Invasion of the Potty Snatchers by Dav Pilkey, The Gingerbread Boy by Paul Galdone, and various picture books for bedtime reading with the son.

• The daughter is taking a break from Harry Potter. Instead, she's either reading on her own or having discussions with me at bedtime. And by "discussions," I mean that sometimes we talk about school and life and sometimes she whines about not having anything good to read. Apparently, now that she's finished The Spiderwick Chronicles by Holly Black, nothing can compare. As I prepare another trip into the overwhelming place that is the kids' fantasy book section of the library, I am hoping it won't take too long. I have TV to watch. 

 

TV

As I type this, my DVR is being taken away because I am switching cable providers to hopefully save lots of money. This is an important sacrifice to make because I have children who require a lot of money, but it still makes me sad. Goodbye unwatched Slings and Arrows and The Good Wife. Goodbye saved NOVA program about the elements and Independent Lens documentary about Elmo. I hope I can find you again.

• New Girl – While I still had the DVR, I caught up on four backlogged episodes. I have to say—I think the show has got its groove back! Maybe it's the addition of Dermut Mulroony as Jess's love interest, Russell. I've never cared for him in his movie roles, but he is absolutely charming as the sophisticated older man who enters the lives of these 30-something stalled adolescents. Perhaps even cuter than the budding romance between Jess and Russell is the man-crush (actually, love) that Nick has developed for Russell. Although Nick is probably the most immature and least ambitious of the roommates, his admiration for Russell suddenly makes him want to be everything that Russell represents. He wanders around Russell's large house in Russell's sweater and lovingly touches objects he finds along the way. He also tries to explain Russell's manly greatness to Jess: "He smells like strong coffee and going to see a man about a horse!"

• Shahs of Sunset – Yes, it's another reality show on Bravo! This new show follows 30-something Persian socialites as they party, work, and party some more in LA, all while maintaining connections to their family cultures and traditions. It's the Persian version of the Jersey Shore if the JS kids continue to earn lots of money and don't mature over the next 10 years. Each cast member is crazy in their own way, but none so much as Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi, a 29-year-old with anger management issues and a collection of knives that she likes to name, including a taser called "Crispy." And did I mention she likes to karate kick people when she gets mad?! I was ready to write this show off as completely mindless entertainment (which is good enough for me), but there was a moment in the last episode that was actually real. Rezza, a 38-year-old openly gay man, has struggled with being accepted within the Persian culture throughout his life. Not only that, but he is also the son of a mixed marriage between a Muslim and a Jew. When his Jewish father converted to Islam to marry his mother, it created tension within his father's family that ultimately led to the breakdown of the marriage. Rezza's father moved away and became estranged from his wife and son. (You just want to give Rezza a hug for making it this far!) Now, in the latest episode of Shahs of Sunset, Reza travels to New Jersey to confront his father for the first time in more than two decades. What results is a tearful and tense reunion that gets to the heart of an issue within Jewish culture. Rezza learns that it is his grandmother, his father's mother, who encouraged her son to disown his wife and child and break contact with them after the divorce. Because her grandson is not Jewish, he is not family. Thankfully for Rezza, his father and the rest of his father's family welcome him with open arms and begin the healing of reuniting their family. Rezza will not forgive his grandmother, nor does she seek his forgiveness. In fact, we never see them speak. But the reunion between father and son, as well as the family Shabbat dinner at which they are all gathered, is enough to inspire emotion even in the most hardened reality-viewer's heart.

• Other catch up included Modern Family, 30 Rock, and Community. I have to say, Community did an excellent send up of Ken Burns's The Civil War, documenting the battle between students building a fort out of pillows (Pillowtown) and those building a fort out of blankets (Blanketsburg). And just like The Civil War, it alternated from being interesting to moving slowly. As a side-note, I hear that Chevy Chase and series creator Dan Harmon are in an ugly battle of words. Could it be because of the Pillowman costume Chevy was forced to wear as he was pummeled by pillow-wielding extras?

Other Stuff

Occasionally I do something other than watch TV and read books. For example, I watch movies and read stuff online. I might mention these things here.

• The Hunger Games – Having read the book, I finally saw the movie. It was good, but as is the case with many book-to-movie translations, it couldn't match the original text. And I wonder if anyone who watched the movie without having read the book could follow the entire storyline. There was a lot of background information from the book that helped connect the plot points, but it was barely alluded to onscreen. Plus, there were a lot of teenagers and 20-somethings in the theatre. Yet again, I feel old.

Dancing with Mayor McCheese

The son had a stomach bug last week, so I've been dealing with a type of unpleasantness that only parents and geriatric nurses who draw the short straw for job assignments have to face. This is to explain why I'm a bit behind in posting the latest blog entry. It's also to draw sympathy. You might think I'd be above that, but you'd be wrong.

Books

• Dave Barry in Cyberspace by Dave Barry – I used to wish that I could become the next Dave Barry. I tried writing funny things all the time. I wrote a humor column for my college paper that at least three people who weren't my friends admitted to reading. But that's where it ended. Until now. Thankfully, the Internet has made it possible for anyone to believe they are columnists simply because they maintain a blog. It's just a matter of getting enough visitors to your site now that readers have so many options available to them. Of course, to be the next Dave Barry, it's also a matter of being a Pulitzer Prize-worthy writer. Thankfully, the Internet has lower standards. Score!

• Petropolis by Anya Ulinich – I finished the book. Overall, I liked it, but you know that feeling you get when you see a movie based on a book that frustrates you because they cast the main character all wrong? The last quarter of the book left me with that feeling. Ulinich uses several characters to narrate the events from their own point-of-view, but there isn't a consistency about which characters tell the story and when. Most of the central part of the book is written through the eyes of the main character, Sasha, and it isn't until near the end that we suddenly see her through someone else's POV. And it's jarring. Although I think it's meant to reveal more about her character—things others see about her that she doesn't see about herself—it actually feels false and unnecessary. If we were meant to see her as others do, why wait until near the end when she's fully formed in our minds? Where the book does ring true, at least from my limited world experience, is in its Russian-ness. In particular, Ulinich embodies her Russian-born characters with a particularly Russian way of expressing emotions. When they are arguing, giving opinions, or feeling inspired by the arts (especially poetry), Russians show immense passion. But should anyone take time to talk about his or her feelings, that time is being wasted. The unspoken mantra of those not yet Americanized is "Suck it up. Life is not easy. If you think you have problems, let me tell you about [insert gruesome Soviet-era story here]."

• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling – The daughter and I started book 4. But before we began, I thought it was important to tell her that this book is where the Harry Potter world gets more serious. Good people die, and not just in the past, as with Harry's parents, but right in front of us. In fact, the first chapter sets the tone with two deaths. I don't plan to tell her anything about the actual storylines, but I wanted to prepare her so that she wouldn't be blindsided by the darker tone. Especially since I'll be the one that has to face whatever reaction she has, which could be rather unpleasant…for me.

• Dancing with the Star by Alex Harvey – Another ready-to-read Spongebob book. As I picture other parents reading classic children's literature and thoughtful New Yorker pieces to their Harvard-bound children, I try not to judge myself too harshly about the lack of quality literature in the son's bedtime repertoire. Hopefully he'll grow into a more confident reader soon, and then he'll be open to more thoughtful and high-quality literature. If not, he's incredibly cute and already charming with the ladies, so I'm pretty sure he'll be okay.

 

TV

• Project Runway All Stars – Go Mondo! Go Mondo! I watched the two-part finale with both children. The son was rooting for Austin. The daughter was rooting for Michael, though after seeing all three collections, she switched her vote to Austin. I was rooting for Mondo who has been my favorite since the beginning, except when I wavered because he got super emotional and whiny toward the end. (Yes, I'm Russian. Why do you ask?) When the winner was announced, I started doing a victory fist pump in the air while telling the kids to "suck it!" because they lost. Well, maybe I didn't use those exact words, but I'm pretty sure I gloated.

• VH1's Couples Therapy – I watched the first episode of this new program, which is from the producers of Celebrity Rehab. The show features pseudo-celebrity couples who are having relationship troubles and have chosen this venue to get publicity work through their issues. Led by Dr. Jenn Berman, a "nationally renowned relationship therapist" (according to the VH1 cast bios), the couples live together for 21 days as they go through intensive therapy. The couples are Angelina Pivarnick (The Jersey Shore) and Chris Nirschel (The Next Food Network Star), Vienna Girardi(The Bachelor) and Kasey Kahl (The Bachelorette), DMX (rapper, actor, and father of more than 10 children during his marriage) and Tashera Simmons (his estranged wife and mother of four of the children), and Linda Hogan (52-year-old ex-wife of Hulk Hogan) and Charlie Hill (her 23-year-old boyfriend). Joining them in episode 2, which I have not yet watched, are Reichen Lehmkuhl (Amazing Race) and Rodiney Santiago (model and Reichen's co-star on a hit Logo show). So far, the most exciting moment came when DMX had a meltdown big enough to make Angelina sympathetic towards Tashera, not an easy thing to get Angelina to do. DMX's tirade included the declaration that he will keep [having relations with women] until his [private area] falls off. Stellar reality moment! Unfortunately, the therapists are so full of their own importance (or expected earnings) that they treat this like legitimate therapy, despite the ridiculousness of the setup. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm jaded. But I have to say, I find it difficult to take Dr. Jenn Berman seriously when she explains, with no hint of irony, the reason behind Vienna and Kasey's issues: "Relationships are tough enough. Imagine airing all your dirty laundry on television. This couple didn't even stand a chance."

• 30 Rock – We meet again, Macbeth curse reference. This time it's with Mayor McCheese Macbeth, who is both tasty and evil. Well played, 30 Rock. Well played.