And the Oscar Goes To...

Books

• Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding – Finished!
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling – Still reading to the daughter. Now on chapter 11 and still going strong. Interesting development: When the daughter was doing her homework recently, I commended her on her neat handwriting (which was rather unlike her typical illegible streaks across the page). She answered that she'd been writing like that all day at school because she had been feeling like Hermione. (Oh, the nerdcitement! I couldn't be more proud.)
• Captain Underpants and the Preposterous Plight of the Purple Potty People by Dav Pilkey – I tend to sound embarrassed or apologetic whenever I mention that this is the book series that finally got the son interested in bedtime reading again, but I'm done with that. In Chapter 2, "Those Wacky Grown-ups," Pilkey mentions the old saying that adults spend two years teaching kids to walk and talk, then spend 16 years trying to get them to sit down and shut up. Then he writes about how it is the same issue with potty training: "One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principal's office because you said the word 'poopy' in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word.)" I'm officially a fan. Tra-la-laaa!

• The Best American Short Stories of the Century edited by John Updike – All best intentions did not get me to do more than read the first line of three separate stories. Hoping to do better this week.

TV

• Top Chef finale – Hooray for Paul! I'm very excited that he won, but it came as a bit of a surprise. Although the judges seemed to love both menus, they criticized Paul's inconsistent soup more than Sarah's undercooked beets. I'm always curious about the part of judges' table that we don't get to see. Did the judges talk about Paul's superior performance throughout the season versus Sarah's close calls? Did the producers step in to say that they wanted it to be Paul? Or was it really only based on the final meals?

• 84^th Annual Academy Awards – I finally watched the Oscars, and my DVR was thrilled to be three hours lighter. I didn't feel particularly vested in the results as I'd only seen The Descendants and Kung Fu Panda 2 this year, but I wanted to see Billy Crystal. I love Billy, and having him host the Oscars is like eating mac and cheese in your pajamas under your favorite blanket. Still, I couldn't help feeling that I'd somehow been transported to the Borcht Belt.

• Jersey Shore – I caught much of the recent episode in which 1) Mike continued to lose his grip on reality while plotting his bizarre revenge on Snooki with the help of "The Unit" (yes, that's a person), 2) JWoww planned a "romantic" (quotes are hers) evening with boyfriend Roger that involved numerous adult toys that had to be fuzzed out when they appeared on the TV screen, and 3) Vinny and Pauly continued their bromance. The latter is fast becoming my favorite part of the show. I just hope Vinny gets to tag along for Pauly's new show, or the heartbreak will be immense for them and the viewers.

• NBC Thursday night line-up – I haven't watched The Office yet, but I couldn't bear to skip Parks and Rec or 30 Rock. I also realized this week that Whitney has been moved and the fourth show in the lineup is now Up All Night. Personally, I'm not interested in watching a sitcom about the struggle of new parents. Been there, done that. Any humor is lost on me. So, I'll continue to look forward to Community's return.

• Modern Family – I miss the Pritchett and Dunphy clans so much! The backlog on the DVR is up to six episodes. I may have to enjoy a marathon this weekend.