Rediscovering Those Paper-Filled Things on My Shelves

I feel I’ve gotten too lax on the “Books” part of “Books and Bad TV,” and watching classic films doesn’t count. As much as I want to make the excuse that watching TV is related to my writing because I blog about it, I haven’t lost my mental acuity so fully that I don’t realize that reading is more important to my writing than Top Chef. And so, I‘ve resumed reading one book and started a new book tonight.

Shakespeare Wrote For Money by Nick Hornby – In this collection of monthly columns he wrote for The Believer magazine, Hornby lists the books he’s bought that month and then writes about the ones he read. Not surprising to anyone who loves books, the list of what he bought rarely matches perfectly with the list of what he read. Lucky for us, and perhaps a big reason behind Hornby writing this column, is that he’s a voracious reader. Hornby himself describes it as reading “neurotically...to ward off boredom, and the fear of our own ignorance, and our impending deaths.” Anyone familiar with Hornby’s style from his novels and short stories will recognize the flowing sentences, sometimes long and hard to parse, but always striking a unique balance between sounding casual and academic. And another signature Hornby style is that it’s funny, very funny. It’s a great read and features a wide assortment of nonfiction and fiction recommendations, including Hornby’s unexpected discovery that he enjoys the strong literary fiction in today’s YA market. Because Hornby selects writers he likes and others that are new to him, the discovery is genuine. Plus, like me, you may wind up with an even lengthier list of books you hope to read. On a side note: the Introduction by Sarah Vowell is hilarious.

Catch-22 by Joseph Heller – I’m not sure what inspired me to choose this book off my shelf (for better or worse, there are dozens of book on my shelves that I haven’t gotten around to reading), but I’m glad I picked it. The edition I have is from 1963 (according to the copyright page, it was the seventh printing of the book in just six months since its first publication). It’s a very old copy that smells like an old library book, which I adore, and the pages have been separating from the spine as I read each one. The fact that the book is falling apart at my fingertips seems fitting to the satirical story within about bombardiers trying to stay alive while stationed near Italy during WWII. I had heard much about the book (and the subsequent movie), as have most people, and knew that it was the source of the meaning of "a catch-22." But I don’t think I expected it to be so funny. In literature, you call it satire, but in today’s words, I’d call it snarky in the best possible sense. I’ve only read a few chapters so far, but I’m looking forward to the rest.

Finally, I’ve been inspired by Hornby’s article to start listing what I’ve read and seen. It’s as much for my own edification as it is a way to show others that I do more than watch Real Housewives. (Yes, I’m vain nerd. Or am I nerdly vain?) Anyway, here’s what I’ve been reading and watching this past week.

Books I’m reading:
Shakespeare Wrote for Money – Nick Hornby
Catch-22 – Joseph Heller

TV shows I watched:
Downton Abbey
Sherlock
New Girl
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2 episodes)
Couples Therapy (2 episodes)
Vanderpump Rules (2 episodes)
Project Runway: Under the Gunn
Winter Olympics

Movies I watched:
Field of Dreams (1989) – Not my first time, but got sucked in. Thanks, TCM.
Despicable Me 2 (2013) – Cute, but not as fresh as the first.
The Making of a Lady (TV movie – 2012) – Linus Roache, a.k.a. Law & Order’s Executive A.D.A. Michael Cutter, is British??

Ridiculousness Rules

© Bravo

I've confessed in the past to watching some ridiculous reality shows, like Couples Therapy and Mob Wives. I’ve stuck with the former but gave up on the latter. (I prefer my reality shows with less physical violence.) I’ve even attempted to watch shows like Beverly Hills Nannies and Tough Love, but neither kept its spot on my DVR. However, for the second season in a row, thanks to the brilliance of Bravo using their Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episodes to plug spin-off Vanderpump Rules, I’ve gotten suckered into a world of more ridiculous people who make me sad with their ridiculousness. And sometimes I get mad at myself for it.

Vanderpump Rules stars Real Housewife Lisa Vanderpump and the waitstaff at her restaurant SUR. The show mainly focuses on the SUR staff, who are all young, beautiful people who also model, sing, act, play in a band, etc. (The publicity and money they get from being on VR is probably much greater than anything they'll achieve in their other attempts at stardom.) The show rarely focuses on their careers, however—except when they’re modeling naked or singing off-key—so the drama revolves around their sex lives and friendships. And because they almost exclusively have sex and friendships with each other, there’s a lot of tension that builds up. Like the early Housewives, before they got so media-savvy with their image, the VR waitstaff is not afraid to be drunk, stupid, and unlikable in every possible way. There’s no moral center here, or even a slightly nice center. (No Lauren from The Hills.) They are all pretty much selfish and petty, and several may have actual conditions that need treatment—alcoholism, sex addiction, and other mental health disorders. Plus, they are not particularly smart. The only one among them who has ever shown intelligence, Stassi Schroeder, is also the scary mean girl you never want to cross.

So why do I watch? Is it because I can't turn away from the lurid, intense drama? Is it because the crossover with RHOBH won’t let me forget? Is it because I am also in need of help? Perhaps.

The second episode of the reunion show will air soon, led by brilliantly evil ringmaster Andy Cohen, and then there will be a break as the season ends. Plus, according to the first reunion episode, Stassi has now left the restaurant for love in New York. So, will VR fall apart without the head mean girl leading the pack? Or like in Heathers, when Veronica says, “I cut off Heather Chandler’s head, and Heather Duke’s head has spring right back in its place,” will one of the other SUR ladies sprout up in Stassi's place as the head bitch they always wanted to be? Will Stassi will come back after a hot moment like her ex-boyfriend—sex addict and pathological liar—Jax Taylor did at the start of this season? For better or worse, I'm sure I'll find out when I tune in yet again next season.

Gone with the Crazy Housewives

Don't you dare! I can make no sense if I want!

The new year started a month ago, and again I have been quiet on the writing front. Certainly life has gotten busy (doesn’t it always?), yet I have somehow managed to find time to watch TV—and read, if you count web articles—but not to write. No, that’s not true. I tried going back to fiction writing, but apparently those creative muscles have completely atrophied. So, while I figure out if my psyche is ready to take on my fiction writer’s block and power through the painful writing to come, I thought it best to focus some of my writing efforts here.

And so, without further ado, some thoughts on my recent viewings: 

Turner Classic Movies—This has become an important channel in my life. Since I last wrote, I’ve watched at least 12 films, including Gaslight (1944), The Women (1939), and The Thing From Another World (1951). This past weekend, the boyfriend and I watched Gone with the Wind (1939). That’s roughly four hours of viewing. And although the film holds up thanks to stunning visuals and fantastic acting, it’s difficult not to get distracted by the soft portrayal of slavery. It especially hit me during a powerful scene in which hundreds of Confederate soldiers lie dying in the Atlanta streets. It’s a raw and realistic image of the painful nature of war...and yet there isn’t a single scene that comes close to giving this type of realistic portrayal of the brutality of slavery. The slaves in this story, whatever their situation, are only concerned about the health and happiness of their white owners...even after the South has fallen. Midway through the film, the boyfriend suggested that next time we can do a double feature of Gone with the Wind and 12 Years a Slave, just to balance things out. 

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills—This season is both boring and bizarre, and all of my past feelings about cast members have been turned upside down. Kyle is now the most reasonable one. Brandi has gone from charmingly truthful to selfish and mean. Yolanda is boring. Lisa is boring. Kim is solely on screen with (a) dogs, (b) kids, or (c) other former child stars. And new cast member Joyce is annoying but innocuous. But then there's Carlton. I don't believe we've witnessed this level of crazy in quite a while. Especially not from anyone sober. Carlton entered the Housewives world determined to hate Kyle. (We don't know why. Did producers suggest it? Is it like prison where you want to come in and immediately punch the biggest guy to establish your strength? We'll never know.) She was pretty consistent in her random dislike of Kyle through several episodes. But then, for a split second at her stripper-themed party, she thought she might be wrong about Kyle because Kyle was nice to her and gave her a necklace. (You could see the change of feeling was unsettling to her. It’s the same look the daughter gives me when I make any suggestions.) Then that night Carlton dreamed that Kyle had been “talking shit” behind her back. And...that was enough for her to decide she had been right about Kyle all along. (Yes, you read that right.) Her non-Housewives friends apparently confirmed that Kyle said something at the party about disliking the smelly bathroom. (Bravo showed footage of Kyle and Joyce grossed out because someone hadn’t flushed. Apparently she was talking shit.) Now Carlton feels better because she can continue to hate Kyle and misinterpret everything in a way that makes that possible. My question is this: If my brain has to work this hard to make sense of a reality show, am I choosing the right show?

Next time I will confess to watching a reality show that even I’m embarrassed about—and yet somehow I still watch it.