Ridiculousness Rules

© Bravo

I've confessed in the past to watching some ridiculous reality shows, like Couples Therapy and Mob Wives. I’ve stuck with the former but gave up on the latter. (I prefer my reality shows with less physical violence.) I’ve even attempted to watch shows like Beverly Hills Nannies and Tough Love, but neither kept its spot on my DVR. However, for the second season in a row, thanks to the brilliance of Bravo using their Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episodes to plug spin-off Vanderpump Rules, I’ve gotten suckered into a world of more ridiculous people who make me sad with their ridiculousness. And sometimes I get mad at myself for it.

Vanderpump Rules stars Real Housewife Lisa Vanderpump and the waitstaff at her restaurant SUR. The show mainly focuses on the SUR staff, who are all young, beautiful people who also model, sing, act, play in a band, etc. (The publicity and money they get from being on VR is probably much greater than anything they'll achieve in their other attempts at stardom.) The show rarely focuses on their careers, however—except when they’re modeling naked or singing off-key—so the drama revolves around their sex lives and friendships. And because they almost exclusively have sex and friendships with each other, there’s a lot of tension that builds up. Like the early Housewives, before they got so media-savvy with their image, the VR waitstaff is not afraid to be drunk, stupid, and unlikable in every possible way. There’s no moral center here, or even a slightly nice center. (No Lauren from The Hills.) They are all pretty much selfish and petty, and several may have actual conditions that need treatment—alcoholism, sex addiction, and other mental health disorders. Plus, they are not particularly smart. The only one among them who has ever shown intelligence, Stassi Schroeder, is also the scary mean girl you never want to cross.

So why do I watch? Is it because I can't turn away from the lurid, intense drama? Is it because the crossover with RHOBH won’t let me forget? Is it because I am also in need of help? Perhaps.

The second episode of the reunion show will air soon, led by brilliantly evil ringmaster Andy Cohen, and then there will be a break as the season ends. Plus, according to the first reunion episode, Stassi has now left the restaurant for love in New York. So, will VR fall apart without the head mean girl leading the pack? Or like in Heathers, when Veronica says, “I cut off Heather Chandler’s head, and Heather Duke’s head has spring right back in its place,” will one of the other SUR ladies sprout up in Stassi's place as the head bitch they always wanted to be? Will Stassi will come back after a hot moment like her ex-boyfriend—sex addict and pathological liar—Jax Taylor did at the start of this season? For better or worse, I'm sure I'll find out when I tune in yet again next season.